Bad Boys II

Bad Boys II (2003)

Two loose-cannon narcotics cops investigate the flow of Ecstacy into Florida.

Directed by
Michael Bay

Action, Comedy, Thriller, Crime

Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Jordi Mollà, Gabrielle Union, Peter Stormare, Theresa Randle, Joe Pantoliano, Michael Shannon, Jon Seda, Yul Vazquez, Jason Manuel Olazabal, Otto Sanchez, Henry Rollins, Antoni Corone, Gary Nickens

My Review
Before the movie even began I had my concerns, a Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer Production. While you know those two names usual mean success, that hasn’t been the case since the late 90’s when Don Simpson killed himself. I can only guess that had the green light for BBII prior to Simpsons death. I think had he been alive he would have wished he wasn’t with this film.

Where to begin, this film is 2hrs 26mins long. That is a loooooooong movie and if you are going to make a loooooooooong movie it better be a goooooooood movie. This is not a goooooooood movie and therefore it is about 2hrs too long. However, I did tough it out.

I will admit that there were some decent points to the story, but I have to tell you, this Miami PD is the most well funded PD I have ever seen. I know, Lowrey is a trustafarian, I am not talking about his Ferarri, but the gear the po-po use in the movie. That is some hard core stuff. I digress, this is a movie, not reality so it took me about 15 seconds to get over that.

Back to the length of the film, there are so many slow mo parts that had they removed or reduced them they could have saved theater goers 26 minutes of their lives. Some of the action was neato, they really went all out on the abuse of the human body be it by explosion, corpses getting run over or violated by other means. It was like hey, we found a way to make these explosions and people fly through the air like superman, no more of that shitty run and jump off a trampoline explosion stuff.

Next item, and I just couldn’t wait anymore, but the last 26 minutes of the film is really the most bullshit part of it. I shall preface this by saying I could give a rats ass if any of this is spoiler because this movie sucks. Ok, so Marcus’ sister (who is DEA) gets kidnapped by the drug kingpin. He escapes to Cuba and the next thing you know Mike, Marcus, the DEA and most of the Miami PD are going to “sneak” into Cuba and rescue the hootchie mama. Oh, it gets better, so then in comes a CIA operative to help out. They end up in Cuba taking on a drug kingpin and his guards as well as the Cuban army.

Somehow, from where the drug kingpin is it is just a short drive to a US Naval Base, they end up there in a mine field after rescuing the hootchie mama. She tosses her gun at an anti personnel mine and it flys into the air and blows up a guy. Now keep in mind Mike, Marcus and the hootchi…oh yeah her name is Sid, are within striking distance of shrapnel from the mine, yet the are unscathed. Then they off the drug kingpin guy, he falls on a couple mines, gets ripped apart and again, no one else is phased by the mines.

I’m sorry to ruin the ending like that, but basically, once they girl is kidnapped, you can stop watching the movie and return your rental. Honestly, there was some hope for this film, but being over the top on body mutilation and the same old cop takes on entire army theme is starting to get old.

So if you are wanting to give up 2hrs and 26 minutes of your life for something horrible, then rent this, otherwise, just watch the original because it is Oscar material compared to this one.

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