Here’s to you SUV driver!

Here’s to you and your gigantic balls! Yes, even you female SUV driver, you got big balls!

Gas prices are pretty high, yet you all feel so inclined to try and keep up with me or beat me on the highway. My 4cyl turbocharged VW still gets about 30mpg while doing 85 – 90 mph. I can only imagine your Triton, Hemi  and Vortec engines have to be pushing 12mpg at that point, maybe worse.

It costs me about $50 to fill up my tank, about 17+ gallons. I figure you big SUV folks have a 20 – 30 gallon tank, especially the monster pickups. So those guys are filling up around $60 -$90 per fillup and getting 12mpg (too generous?) just because they don’t want to be passed or outrun by my german engineered Passat.

Lets do the math!

Me: ~30mpg, I fillup after about 480 miles, around 17+ gallons @ about $50

You: ~12mpg fillup after? About 25 gallons? @ $75

Me: I fill up once a week (480/~30) = 16 (so obviously I get a little worse here and there ;))
You: Twice a week to go the same miles (480/12) = 40

Me: Still at $50

You: $150! Ok well almost, still, that’s an assload of money!

Not to mention, you probably have higher paymens on your bohemoth and higher insurance rates, go through tires faster and all that.

So once again, SUV driver, I salute you and your big balls for not caring how much it costs to operate that beast!.

2 thoughts on “Here’s to you SUV driver!”

  1. I have a question. Are those “low ego” emissions included in the sales price or is it a monthly fee? As a one time cost it is probably a good deal, but I can see how if it was a monthly fee the fascination of being ego free would quickly wear off. Moral superiority is much more fun anyways. 🙂

  2. Our work surburbans cost about $85 to fill.

    My Plymouth Neon hotrod will destroy your passat!

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