I feel like crap-ish

I got a cold I guess, I am tired. I’m sore from working on the House, the Scout and the Audi over the holiday weekend.

The bad news is I am mentally exhausted, I think the burden of the last 12 months has just recently hit me like a semi truck. It was almost to the day a year ago I knew something was wrong. Living through that, the recovery which is more than just physical. It’s mental too. Getting sharp again and making sure things are okay.

We had multiple pet emergencies, the dog with the landscape edging, losing JJ to cancer this Summer and of course now I am worried about poor Elvis.

I had to totally change my diet immediately that involved cutting out all food and drink with gluten. It’s not that bad to do at first, but after about a month you start going crazy wanting to eat and drink the things you used to have on a daily basis.

This is probably why I feel like crap, I am beat down, down in the dumps, I wont use the term depressed because it’s not depression, but it is a depressed state. I look forward to my time off around Christmas, but it wont really be a vacation. We will be heading to New Mexico for the holiday, then we come back and we will ski for a day or two when we get back and then it will be New Years and who know what that entails.

Sometimes life is like standing in the batters box waiting for the next pitch. You hope it’s a fast ball so you can blast it out of the park, but you don’t really know what’s coming. Most of all you don’t want to strike out. Of course I feel like I am striking out, but I keep hoping for that grand slam.

In the mean time I guess, bring it on stressful things, I at least have learned a better understanding of how to deal with stress. I used to get really worked up. I wouldn’t say I just brush things off, but sometimes all you can do is sit back and say, what does getting all worked up about it solve? It doesn’t solve anything.

Sure it takes action, but sometimes I need to analyze things. Figure out what is the greater good type option. I am realistic and know that sometimes things just wont work out no matter how hard you try. However, the trade off is something else will be resolved or become better in the process. Or at least that’s the hope right?

Still, if you were to ask me if I am stressed out, I would reply YES! Is my stress level the same as it used to be, possibly, but I don’t let it overwhelm me like it used to.

I am always one to offer advice wanted or not, I guess it is a trait I picked up from my Dad. It is a good one I think, I always try to help people think things through, and evaluate their options before making a decision on things. However, I never do that for myself, I don’t think I know how.

Sigh, life is very challenging, why does it seem like it is so easy for some people?

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